Our Birth is our Opening Balance ! Our Death is our Closing Balance!

Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset Soul is our Fixed Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Friends are our General Reserves Values & Behaviour are our

Goodwill Patience is our Interest Earned Love is our Dividend

Children are our Bonus Issues Education is Brands / Patents Knowledge is our Investment Experience is our Premium Account The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.

The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

Some very Good and Very bad things ...

The most destructive habit......................Worry

The greatest Joy...............................Giving

The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work...............Helping others

The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness

The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource...............Our youth

The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear

The most effective sleeping pill........Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease............Excuses

The most powerful force in life..................Love

The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper

The world's most incredible computer........The brain

The worst thing to be without................... Hope

The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue

The two most power-filled words..............."I Can"

The greatest asset..............................Faith

The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity

The most beautiful attire......................SMILE!

The most prized possession................Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer

The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm

The most important thing in life..................GOD

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This makes sense.. the Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals...not cold water...maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain... For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. A serious note about heart attacks: You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive... A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this...It could save your life!!

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This is a new theory that has come to my knowledge very recently and I thought that I should also share with you all.
A few days back my Father in law was admitted in a nursing home due to severe chest pain. He had an attack in 1997 and was undergoing normal treatment.
Due to the sudden pain just 15 days back we once again got him admitted in a private nursing home at Kandivli. The doctors later suggested for Angiography. We conducted the Angiography at Hinduja Hospital and knew from the reports that he has multiple blockages. The doctor told that he cannot undergo Angioplasty due to several blockages but suggested By - Pass - Surgery.

The same day evening we brought him home since the doctor suggested that his heart is very weak and we can perform the by-pass only after 15- 20 days. In the mean time we were discussing this issue with our relatives and friends; we got this new information from one of our family friends. There is a new therapy in the market, which is known as: - Chelation Therapy or Calation Therapy.
According to this therapy any patient who has to undergo by-pass need not undergo the same. The patient is given approx. 18 bottles of blood wherein some medicines are injected along with it. The blood cleans the system and removes all the blockages from the heart. The no. of bottles may increase depending upon the age factor and health of the patient. The cost of the blood per bottle would be approx. Rs. 2,500/-. The treatment takes approx.1 month of time. There are only 4 doctors in India and one of them is Dr. Dhananjay Shah at Malad (Mumbai) another at Karnataka.
He has a list of patients who had to undergo by-pass from Lilavati, Hinduja and other major hospitals but after undergoing the above treatment they are absolutely fine and leading a normal life. I give below the Doctors details for your info:-
Dr. Dhananjay Shah.
(Disp): 022-28892089
Mob: 098194 39657
http://in.mc88.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=shahdhananjay@rediffmail.com
I hope the above information would be of any help to you. Kindly pass on the message to the people you know and one can save huge amount of money, time and risk of undergoing the operation.

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Isn't it true that we all carry our mobile phones with hundreds of names/numbers stored in its memory but yet nobody, other thanourselves, know which of these numbers belong to our near and dear ones? Let us for a moment create a scenario wherein we are involved in an accident or had a heart attack and the people attending us get hold of our mobile phone but don't know which number to call to inform our family members. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? For this reason, we should have one or more telephone numbers stored under the name Emergency 1, Emergency 2 etc. in our mobile phones. As cell phones are carried by majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or person who should be contacted at during emergency.

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Stop All Criticism - Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Don't Scare Yourself - Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle And Kind And Patient - Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind To Your Mind - Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself - Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself - Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving To Your Negatives - Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care Of Your Body - Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality?

Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Mirror Work - Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you."

Love Yourself .. Do It Now - Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now -- and do the best you can.

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1 = ONDRU -one

10 = PATTU -ten

100 = NOORU -hundred

1000 = AaYIRAM -thousand

10000 = PATTAYIRAM -ten thousand

100000 = NOORAYIRAM -hundred thousand

1000000 = PATTU NOORAYIRAM - one million

10000000 = KOODI -ten million

100000000 = ARPUTHAM -hundred million

1000000000 = NIGARPUTAM - one billion

10000000000 = KUMBAM -ten billion

100000000000 = KANAM -hundred billion

1000000000000 = KARPAM -one trillion

10000000000000 = NIKARPAM -ten trillion

100000000000000 = PATHUMAM -hundred trillion

1000000000000000 = SANGGAM -one zillion

10000000000000000 = VELLAM -ten zillion

100000000000000000 = ANNIYAM -hundred zillion

1000000000000000000 = ARTTAM -?////

1000000000000000000 0 = PARARTTAM --anyboby know

1000000000000000000 00 = POORIYAM -<>?#%^&

1000000000000000000 000 = MUKKODI -&^*^%^#

1000000000000000000 0000 = MAHAYUGAM -??????????? ?????

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There was this Asian lady married to an American man and they lived in Honolulu . The poor lady was not very proficient in English language, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy a leg of mutton she didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with mutton legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
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'' What were you thinking?
Helloooooooooo, her husband can speak English!!

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I don't know what you guys are paying for petrol.... but here in Durban we are also paying higher, up to R7.35 per litre.

But my line of work is in petroleum for about 31 years now, so here are some tricks to get more of your money's worth for every litre. Here at the Marian Hill Pipeline where I work in Durban, we deliver about 4 million litres in a 24-hour period thru the pipeline. One day is diesel the next day isjet fuel, and petrol, LRP and Unleaded. We have 34-storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 litres.

Only buy or fill up your car or bakkie in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the fuel, when it gets warmer petrol expands,so buying in the afternoon or in the evening....your litre is not exactly a litre. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the petrol, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role. A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.

When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapours that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapour return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapour. Those vapours are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less worth for your money.
One of the most important tips is to fill up when your tank is HALF FULL. The reason for this is, the more fuel you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. petrol evaporates faster than you can imagine. Petroleum storage tanks have an internal floatingroof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the petrol and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every litre is actually the exact amount.
Another reminder, if there is a fuel truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy, DO NOT fill up--most likely the petrol/diesel is being stirred up as the fuel is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom.
Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.

DO SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS!

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This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

Think like a wizard . . .

man

Q1. ---------

board

Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.


stand

Q2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand OK . . .

Got the drift ? Let's try a few now and see how you fare ?


Q3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

Q4. r road a d

Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ? Redeem yourself.

Q5. cycle cycle cycle

Ans. = tricycle

Not easy to figure out ha

0

Q6. ---------

M.D. Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero C'mon give it a little thought! !

knee

Q7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )

U can prove u r smart by getting this one.


ground

Q8. ---------------

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

Oh no, not again ! !

Q9. he's X himself

Ans. = he's by himself

Now u messing up big time.

Q10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance Not even close! !

Q11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death Okay last chance ..................

Q12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is real fundoo - - -

Q13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...

Ans. = long time no 'C'

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Pls read this and pass it on to your female friends

Recently this past week, Nicole Dishuk (age 31...newly graduatedstudent with a doctoral degree about to start her new career as aDoctor...) was flown into a nearby hospital, because she passed out.They found a blood clot in her neck, and immediately took her byhelicopterto the ER to operate. By the time they removed the right half of herskullto relieve the pressure on her brain; the clot had spread to her braincausing severe damage.Since last Wednesday night, she was battling... they induced her into acoma to stop the blood flow, they operated 3 times... Finally, theysaidthere was nothing left that they could do... they found multiple clotsinthe left side of her brain... the swelling wouldn't stop, and she wasonlife support...She died at 4:30 yesterday. She leaves behind a husband, a 2yr oldBrandonand a 4yr old Justin... The CAUSE of DEATH - they found was a birthcontrol pill she was taking that allows you to only have your period 3 times ayear...They said it interrupts life's menstrual cycle, and although itis FDA approved... shouldn't be - So to the women in my address book - Iask you to boycott this product & deal with your period once a month - soyou can live the rest of the months that your life has in store for you.*Please send this to every woman you know - you may save someone's life...Remember, you have a CYCLE for a reason!The name of this new birth control pill is LYBREL . If you go toLybrel.com http://lybrel.com/, you will find atleast 26 pages ofinformation regarding this drug.The second birth control pill is, SEASONIQUE . If you go to the websiteof, Seasonique.comhttp://seasonique.com/, you will find 43 pages ofinformation regarding this drug.The warnings and side effects regarding both pills are horrible.Please,please forward this information to as many daughters, co-workers, friends and relatives. Several lives have already been changed.

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An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World.So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China . On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when heNoticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by whatThe telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for$10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Japan . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephonewith the same sign under it.He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China andHe asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 HeCould talk to God. "O.K ., thank you," said the American. He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France . In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000Per call" sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, thereWas the same golden telephone, but thi s time the sign under it read "OneRupee per call."The American wassurprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven,But in the US the price was $10,000 per call..Why is it so cheap here?" Readers, it is your turn........ Think ....before you scroll down... ........... ................... ......... ........ ......... .......... ......... . ............ ......... ......... ......... ..... ........... .......... .......... ......... ........ .................. ......... .......... .......... ........ ................. .......... ......... .......... ......... ...... ........... ......... .......... .......... ........ .................. ......... ......... .......... ......... ...... ........... ......... ......... ......... ......... .................. ......... ......... ......... ........ ....... ............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ................. .......... ......... ......... ........ ...... ............. ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... ............ ........... ......... ......... ........ ...... ........... .......... ........... ......... ........ ......

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ".This is the only heaven on the Earth. KEEP SMILING

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A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast. When he goes to the Kirana store he pays Rs. 12 a dozen. Since a dozen eggs won't last a week he normally buys two dozens at a time. One day while buying eggs he notices that the price has risen to Rs. 16. The next time he buys groceries, eggs are Rs. 22 a dozen.When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says, "The price has gone up and I have to raise my price accordingly" . This store buys 100 dozen eggs a day. He checked around for a better price and all the distributors have raised their prices. The distributors have begun to buy from the huge egg farms. The small egg farms have been driven out of business. The huge egg farms sell 100,000 dozen eggs a day to distributors. With no competition, they can set the price as they see fit. The distributors then have to raise their prices to the grocery stores. And on and on and on.As the man kept buying eggs the price kept going up. He saw the big egg trucks delivering 100 dozen eggs each day. Nothing changed there. He checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling 100,000 dozen eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing had changed but the price of eggs.Then week before Diwali the price of eggs shot up to Rs. 40 a dozen. Again he asked the grocery owner why and was told, "Cakes and baking for the holiday". The huge egg farmers know there will be a lot of baking going on and more eggs will be used. Hence, the price of eggs goes up. Expect the same thing at Christmas and other times when family cooking, baking, etc. happen.This pattern continues until the price of eggs is Rs. 60 a dozen. The man says, "There must be something we can do about the price ofeggs".He starts talking to all the people in his town and they decide to stop buying eggs. This didn't work because everyone needed eggs.Finally, the man suggested only buying what you need. He ate 2 eggs a day. On the way home from work he would stop at the grocery and buy two eggs. Everyone in town started buying 2 or 3 eggs a day.The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too many eggs in his cooler. He told the distributor that he didn't need any eggs.Maybe wouldn't need any all week.The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse. He told the huge egg farms that he didn't have any room for eggs would not need any for at least two weeks.At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs. To relieve the pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributor that they could buy the eggs at a lower price.The distributor said, " I don't have the room for the %$&^*&%eggs even if they were free". The distributor told the grocery store owner that he would lower the price of the eggs if the store would start buyingagain.The grocery store owner said, "I don't have room for more eggs. The customers are only buying 2 or 3 eggs at a time. Now if you were to drop the price of eggs back down to the original price, the customerswould start buying by the dozen again".The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers but the egg farmers liked the price they were getting for their eggs but, those chickens just kept on laying. Finally, the egg farmers lowered theprice of their eggs. But only a few paisa.The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at a time. They said, "when the price of eggs gets down to where it was before, we will start buying by the dozen."Slowly the price of eggs started dropping. The distributors had to slash their prices to make room for the eggs coming from the egg farmers. The egg farmers cut their prices because the distributors wouldn't buy at a higher price than they were selling eggs for. Anyway, they had full warehouses and wouldn't need eggs for quite a while.And those chickens kept on laying.Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they were throwing away eggs they couldn't sell.The distributors started buying again because the eggs were priced to where the stores could afford to sell them at the lower price.And the customers starting buying by the dozen again.Now, transpose this analogy to the gasoline industry.What if everyone only bought Rs 200.00 worth of Petrol each time they pulled to the pump? The dealer's tanks would stay semi full all the time. The dealers wouldn't have room for the gas coming from the huge tanks. The tank farms wouldn't have room for the petrol coming from the refining plants. And the refining plants wouldn't have room for the oil being off loaded from the huge tankers coming from the oil fiends.Just Rs. 200.00 each time you buy gas. Don't fill up the tank of your car. You may have to stop for gas twice a week, but the price should come down.Think about it.Also, don't buy anything else at the fuel station; don't give them any more of your hard earned money than what you spend on gas, until the prices come down..."Good Analogy. No harm in trying...just think of this concept for a while.

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Regular naps prevent old age, Especially if you take them while driving.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right And the other is the husband!

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

You can't buy love, But, you pay heavily for it. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, He still ends up with the same boss.

Wise men talk because they have something to say; Fools talk because they have to say something. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

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Read and enjoy :)

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".Sardar thinks "how poetic" Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

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Sardar at bar in New York .Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.kSardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??how much is DRIVING salary...?***********************************************

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light atnight when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!***********************************************

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks theother to check whether its working, he puts his head out and saysYES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO... ***********************************************

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriageand cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the postoffice....

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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, andsays, "chal", it walks.He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion...... ....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......

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A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in theexam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with fatherin the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUEFATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?Sardar : liquid state.....Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......

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This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain..... .

A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says: "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." The BE asks, "What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute...

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The BE is silent for a moment, and then speaks.

"Practically. ...Someone has stolen our tent".

"ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE"

JAI HO ALL ENGINEERS.

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