Mallus in Heaven

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said 'I have to talk to you.

We have some Mallus up here in Heaven & they are causing problems.

'What problems?', asked the Lord.

And Gabriel replied:

'They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Lungis and Kerala saris instead of their white robes, they are driving Mercedes and BMW's instead of riding the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discount prices.
They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway eating bananas fried in coconut oil and drinking chaaya.Some of them have even given away one wing to their cousins, and are walking around with just one wing! And the ones who didn't get place on the stairway are planning to organise a bandh/ hartal.

The Lord said, 'Mallus are Mallus. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, why dont you give Satan a call.'



Satan answered the phone, 'Hello?. . . . Damn, hold on a minute.'

Satan returned to the phone, 'OK I'm back. What can I do for you?'

Gabriel replied, 'I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there.'

Satan says, 'Hold on again. I need to check on something.'

After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, 'I'm back. Sorry. Now what was the question?' Gabriel said, 'What kind of problems are you having down there?'

Satan says, 'Man, I don't believe this! Hold on.'

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, 'I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. These Mallus down here have put out the fire in hell, and now they are trying to install air conditioning!